Post your favorite World Herald Fiction!

Swiss Alpine Militia Loaded with Commandos

15:15 hours, New York time

According to Italian spy planes bravely overlooking the hostile nation of Switzerland, the Swiss military has apparently been preparing for an invasion of sovereign lands of both France and Italy. It seems that the once -- supposedly -- 'neutral' people of Switzerland have been mediating peace talks between the Axis powers and the Allies with duplicitous intentions.

Though the ulterior motives of the dubious Swiss government have yet to be determined, French officials near the area have suggested a deep-seated jealousy of French and Italian Wine makers who -- in the lower hills around southern Switzerland -- have flaunted the prosperity of their vineyards for decades.

The Swiss wine making industry, futily attempting to duplicate the production capacities of their neighbors, have yet to experience a decent yield of grapes in any given season. The colder climate in the Swiss Alps does not make for a very hospitable environment for growing grapes but the Swiss just don't seem to care.

One would suggest that Switzerland get over their grape jealousy and stick to making dairy products. Regardless of Swiss intentions, one thing is for sure, their vast numbers of Alpine Commandos are not preparing for a ski vacation. And their gun range practice is not putting the holes in the Swiss cheese, either.

With the looming invasion of the wine growing hills and valleys in the area, and the pending destruction of much of the fruiting vines for years to come, the potential fallout of the loss of so much wine production -- internationally -- has sent grape futures in the Paris stock exchange soaring while bistros across western Europe report rising prices of dinner wines.

In an effort to conserve vintages, Italian authorities have limited wedding celebrations to only 30 bottles of vino per event. Reports that some violators have been forced to go on the wagon have traumatized wine tasters everywhere.

More to come as events unfold — though likely not.

Diabolical wrote:

traumatized wine tasters

lol.

Interesting thread @Diabolical

France on the March -- Belgium Outcries Rise

14:00 hours, New York time.

The evil French military has invaded the small but sovereign nation of Luxembourg. Meanwhile, the peaceful people of neighboring Belgium have expressed shock and disbelief at this wanton disregard for life and property.

Reports from fleeing citizens indicate that the French soldiers have met with little resistance from the local militia. Strangely enough, among these reports are anecdotal stories that tell of incidents of mass moonings of France's senior army officer by many militia members just before they were overrun.

This mooning insult has apparently backfired as several of those mocking defenders were summarily executed and their asses placed upon pikes to ward off further incidents of mooning. Also, to add insult to injury, the commander has ordered his troops to place stinkbombs and noisemakers in some of the piked butts; evidently to help animate them.

We at the Herald wish to express our shock and disbelief at these events and we offer condolences and our sympathies to the families of the fallen.

I have a couple more stories concerning Switzerland if anyone's interested along that line. One of which is part of a chain of stories having to do with Germany had it not been quite as successful at taking over Europe in WWII.

I also have another German story that I will post ONLY if there are at least 5 likes to this post to indicate a demand. However, it is ... somewhat ... controversial in how it treats the whole Nazi "ideal" as if looked at from a romanticized view of the perils of war. It is sort of like a member of the Hitler youth who's looking at war through rose colored glasses and is -- I think -- quite funny and satirical.

But, like I said, this post must get at least 5 likes for me to go ahead and post that story and it will be used within a spoiler tag to help ensure it doesn't violate any of Bytro's policies. I don't really think it does but, sometimes, some of the folks in charge can be overly-sensitive to the concept of a violation. Oh, and I'm not in favor of Nazism and I abhor what they did and think they were insane and stupid. But, I was inspired one day when an ally of mine wanted to be a "good" German Chancellor in a Road to War match so I created this story for him...and he thought it was hilarious.

So, I will post the other Swiss stories if this post gets 3 likes and the Nazi satire if this post gets 5 likes.

(update 9/8/16) The threshold for more Swiss stories has been met.

(update 1/10/1 The threshold for the Nazi satire has been met.

LIKE WHAT'S ABOVE THIS NOW!!! lol

You know, OTHER people could post their stories, TOO!

That's kinda the point. It's not meant to be a self-aggrandizing venture....well, not ONLY.

I would, but I don't post in the newspaper too often... I used to back in the day.

Sir McSquiggles wrote:

I would, but I don't post in the newspaper too often... I used to back in the day.

Then, ten years from now, when you are randomly browsing through your old folders for that one file you just "have to find", you run across something from your glory days of gaming [new meme?] and dust off one of your stories and it brings a nostalgic smile to your face. Then you share it with your wife and she rolls her eyes at how lame you were back in the day and how it took her three years to ween you off of THAT game and how she doesn't want you letting it go to your head again, because you've got to drop the kids off at grandma's house before the two of you head off on that second honeymoon you promised her for years but finally got off your ass and did something about it.

That's the kinda stuff worth writing for....

MEME: The Glory Days of Gaming ... That was clearly back in the 1980's with the Atari and Nintendo.

After that, everything went downhill from there as your imagination gave way to other peoples' art and ... GRAPHICS!!!!

Small Nation Wins Big

02:35 hours, New York time.

The latest news out of Borneo, tonight, has indicated a series of tremendous victories as this small but determined nation has managed to pull an incredible military route the likes of which have not been seen since the days of Genghis Khan.

In a series of daring raids, this little empire managed to employ brilliant espionage raids throughout the Albertan threat that loomed over them. In the intelligence reports reaped from the precision spying, Bornean intelligence service members deduced the locations of several of Alberta's most precious weapons, their nuclear bomber fleet.

Then, after locating these deadly aircraft -- waiting on the precipice of war in several key locations just waiting to strike at the innocent people of Borneo -- four special teams of raiders conducted a daring raid upon all of the airbases.

In the chaos that ensued, it seemed as if most of the nuclear fleet would escape with only marginal damages. However, due to quick thinking on the part of the Bornean war planners, several secondary missions managed to finish the job.

Ultimately, two of the nuclear bombers managed to escape with heavy damages. But, when the Albertan military attempted to utilize them against the Bornean military, they found their foe was very well hidden and offered only poor targets. Meanwhile, as the surviving nuclear fleet was searching for targets of strategic value, Bornean air corps pilots spotted and shot down one of bombers.

Finally, one of the nuclear bombers managed to slip past Borneo's AA defenses and dropped their payload on a minor Borneo city located in southern Japan.

The damages to that city were considered to be so minor that the Albertan leader -- upon hearing of this news -- ordered several of his top atomic researchers shot and their bullet-addled bodies put on display at one of the most prestigious Albertan universities. The message was clear: don't fail again.

In related news, the vastly superior Bornean navy has scored numerous victories at sea and with onshore bombardments inflicting countless casualties among Alberta's marine forces and naval forces of the Pacific.

Clearly, the small nation of Borneo is master of the seas and their dominance in the Pacific ocean is unmatched.

Return to the World Herald often for more on these and other history-changing moments as the brave people of Borneo stand up to the giant nation of Alberta. Will it be a David and Goliath tale? Only time will tell and the Herald will have reporters on the scene wherever David slings those stones.

Kansas Celebrates a Great Victory at Sea

16:00 hours, New York time.

Today, Goiás national forces have suffered a massive loss as a huge army of their tanks and a large fleet of Goiás aircraft were lost in the Bahamas and the waters around the islands.

The Kansas naval fleet -- led by the heroic Admiral, Jethro (Jet) Wilson -- coordinated a major strike with submarine ships combined with a squadron of Kansas' elite Tactical Bomber fleet.

The enemy, mostly convoyed ships embarking southward in an attempt to flee the marauding Kansas forces, tried desperately to sail to Cuba where they sought refuge among their ally Maranháo's occupied Cuban territory.

Little did they know, Admiral Jet Wilson's genius strategy was to drive the hapless enemy captains into the sea where laying in wait was a large fleet of Kansas' submarines held back for pursuit duty.

The enemy commander, assured that his opponent's subs were occupied while fighting their token Destroyer fleet was unaware of the magnitude of forces arrayed around the island chain.

Alas, as soon as the enemy convoy was away from the coastline -- their captains smug with a false sense of relief -- they found themselves surrounded by the large fleet of submarines.

One by one -- and two's and three's and so forth -- the convoy ships were sunk both by torpedo attack and by the hail of bombs dropped by the air cover.

As radio transmissions of several of the ship's captains -- begging for mercy -- did eventually cease, the cacophony of explosions finally came to an end.

Sinking sailors -- only a few wearing life vests -- were plucked from the surface by an unusually high presence of sharks brought to the slaughter with the taste of so much blood in the water.

And, as the turbulent surf quickly cleared the waters of blood and debris, the only evidence left of the slaughter was the distant roar of bombers returning to base. As their prey slowly sank to the bottom of the sea and succumbed to the deep crush of Davy Jones' locker, the fleet of submarines quietly and unceremoniously slipped beneath the waves to hunt for more prey beyond the wind-swept waves.

Once more, as the storm winds began to calm, they were replaced with a firm but peaceful breeze that returned to sooth the sun-drenched seas around the Bahamas. All is as it was.

France Teeters Before Italian Invasion

13:30 hours, New York time.

Grave news, today, as reports from France suggest their military -- exhausted and on the brink of collapse -- has suffered mass desertions in the face of the rolling hoard of Italian tanks. Suffering loss upon loss, the French troops have had to backpedal numerous times.

General calls for retreat seem to be the order of the day throughout lower France as Italy moves relentlessly forward. Only Bordeaux still stands, and it is expected that, later today, the garrison commander of that city will surrender in the face of such overwhelming forces.

This morning, in Paris, the French president called upon his people to stand firm against the aggressors. Unfortunately, his efforts at pleading in front of a relatively large crowd in a rally before the Eiffel Tower seemed the act of a fly spitting in the eye of an elephant.

In spite of the throngs of cheers coming from within the city, the citizenry outside of Paris -- far removed from any ability to hear the cacophony -- seemed unable to have their moods lifted by the rallying cries of the Parisians. This lone radio transmission -- the first in several days -- that broadcast the event coming from the tower, was unable to reach more than a few dozen miles outside of Paris as the power shortages across France have forced rationing even within this City of Lights.

We will have more on the fate of the French people as it becomes known. Return here often.

The War of Japan.

Why have so many of us swallowed our tears and died? It is easy to complain about the way things have turned out now, but we all did it out of love for Japan, in the firm belief in our final victory.

~ Korechika Anami

Like many other coup d'état’s in Japanese history, the roots of the Gigun regime can be found in the agitations and patriotic delusions of young officers. Brought up to revere the Emperor and trained in the knowledge that only they could crush his enemies, the concepts of democracy and civilian government were contemptuous at the best of times, when those same institutions announced their plans to accept defeat and surrender for the first time in Japanese history, some sort of incident had become all but a certainty, though with the Emperor’s personal intervention in favour of the surrender, any hope of success seemed a bleak.

It would be the personal intervention of General Korechika Anami, the Japanese War Minister and de facto head of the Armed Forces, that would prove pivotal in transforming what might have been an isolated incident into the final subjugation of the last pretences of Japanese civilian government. Whilst it was no secret to anyone that Anami continued to believe that Japanese independence could be largely preserved in the wake of a decisive battle on Japanese soil, however his reverence to the Emperor seemed to indicate that he would acquiesce to the sovereign’s decision to back unconditional surrender. What made him discard this sworn duty to obey the Emperor is subject of some dispute. A minority argue that Anami himself at this time had been overcome with delusions of grandeur and wished to execute the Royal Family and re-establish the Shogunate, using the legitimacy of a crushing victory against the Americans to do so. Other have ascribed it to one of the coups lead perpetrators, Kenji Hatanaka, a man known for his silver tongue and literary talent, the story goes that he made such a rousing case in favour of ignoring the Emperor’s wishes and strengthening his own belief in the decisive battle by regaling him with poetry of the glorious victories of the Russo-Japanese War. The general consensus however ,is that Anami’s actions can be attributed to a fatal misreading of the Allied ‘Potsdam Declaration’ of July 26th. Whilst post-war sources have shown that the Allies had little enthusiasm for putting Emperor Hirohito on trial, their failure to mention this, and their stated aim of "eliminating for all time the authority and influence of those who have deceived and misled the people of Japan into embarking on world conquest" led Anami to conclude that the Allies planned to entirely restructure Japanese society, much like they were already doing in Germany, and that the Emperor had been misled about this fact by the ‘cowards’ in the Peace faction of the Supreme Council, individuals that he would now move against.

On the Morning of August 15th, with Japan’s intent to surrender already broadcast to the Allies through the Swiss and Swedish embassies, the Japanese people heard a different announcement. Prime Minister Suzuki Kantarō had launched a coup in the early hours of the morning in conjunction with secret negotiations with the Allies for him to replace the Emperor as sovereign and rule an occupied Japan as their puppet, however the vigilance of the Japanese Armed Forces, and the conviction of the Japanese people had stood in his way, the Emperor was now safe, and Suzuki was under arrest awaiting trial with his fellow co-conspirators, the new Government under Prime Minister Anami would now oversee the war to its victorious conclusion.

To the Allies the message was brief, reiterating the former Japanese peace terms, including the retention of the Emperor, no occupation of the Home Islands, and that only the Japanese would be responsible for disarmament and war crimes trials. With the Emperor under what was in essence house arrest, and the peace faction in the process of being purged from the highest echelons of Japanese society, the hope of peace which had seemed so assured the previous day now appaeared to be a pipe dream.

In America, the unenviable task of telling the American public that the war was in fact not over fell to a dismayed President Truman who made his best efforts to relay to his own sadness to the American people but also his resolve to see the war through to a conclusive end. On the streets the sorrow quickly turned to anger, Japanese-Americans who had only been allowed to return to their homes a few months beforehand, along with people of East Asian appearance, now found themselves vulnerable to a wave of hate attacks by American servicemen and civilians who were often still drunk from their celebrations of ‘victory’. From outside the White House, the people gathered, many of whom having been there the previous day to cheer the President, now demanding blood. As the new Anami regime appeared silent to any appeal to reason, it appeared they would get their wish.

D'oh!

Wolves in the Dark -- a Short Story from the Fields of War

...and Intimidation

This is rated PG-13.

It is not for young readers.

THE FALL OF THE WEST

In mid 410, Alaric reopened negotiations with Honorius. However Sarus, a fellow Gothic commander who was allied to Honorius, attacked Alaric’s forces, and negotiations promptly failed. Alaric was victorious and Alaric laid siege to Rome a third time. On August 24, 410, Visigoths poured in the city and looted for three days. Honorius was killed. Alaric declared himself the Emperor of the Visigoths, and journeyed south to take ships to Africa.

In Arles, Constantine III, an usurper, was defeated and captured by Constantius III. Soon afterward, Constantius learned the news that Honorius was killed and Rome conquered. Constantius III declared himself the new Emperor. But there was another usurper, down in Hispania, Maximus Tiranus.

Alaric arrived in Carthage in May 411. The Visigothic troops poured into the city. There seemed to be no defenders. Almost everyone was attending the races at the hippodrome. The Visigoths easily took the city. Alaric died after the conquest due to a sudden, severe fever. Ataulf, his brother in law, became the new Emperor of the Visigoths and prepared to invade Corsica and Sardinia (well... arrive and declare it his own. After all, nearly all Roman resistance was gone.) after securing Africa. However what he didn’t know is that the Vandals were marching east through Mauretania.

Maximus Tiranus and Constantius III fought in Tarraco in late June 411. After 12 days of fighting, Constantius III was killed and his army defeated. Maximus Tiranus became the emperor of the Western Roman Empire. But now the only thing that remained of the Western Roman Empire was Hispania--and not even that, because of the Suevi in Gallaecia.

The Visigoths and Ataulf had just reached Leptis Magna when a messenger arrived. Apparently the Vandals were sieging Constantine. Ataulf headed west.

Ataulf reached the city of Constantine on September 25, 412. Coincidentally, Constantine had just surrendered to the sieging Vandals. The Visigoths rushed into the city and fighting occurred in the streets for 2 days. After that the Vandal army routed. The Vandals agreed to recognize Ataulf, Emperor of the Visigoths, as the ruler of Italia and Africa. The Vandals settled in Mauretania.

The United Unionists Union Coalition

We, the united unionists at the United Unionists Union -- in a unified spirit of unity -- would like to welcome any and all in unity who would unite with our unified union. As our united unionists often unitedly like to harmonize in our united hills -- in unison -- "Union Union Union!"

Our Unified Anthem:

We're unionists, yes unionists, so unified and free.

With union ties we unionize our unifying glee.

For Union Union Union, we pledge ourselves to thee.

We're unified, with union ties, in union we agree.

As unionists, we must persist, our union proudly tell:

In union skies, united flies, our union boys do well.

For Union Union Union, our union soldiers yell:

We're unified, with union ties, in union we will gel.

You get the gist, we're unionists, no sooner will this end.

Our union ties, not bound in lies, so say we once again:

Please join our noble Union, we'll let more of you in.

We're unified, with union ties, you must join our union.

Our union lives, though turmoil gives a blockade in our path.

We will not die, our union thrives, our foes will feel our wrath.

In Union Union Union, our lookouts stand on plinths.

We'll strategize, though others try, to take away our faith.

In union gird, our loins with word of victory once more.

For where resides, our union lies, our homelands are secure.

With Union Union Union, we'll shout and tell the tale,

Thus we deny their nasty lies, our victories, regale.

In Union Union Union, our victories, regale.

In Union Union Union, our victories, regale.

In Union ... Union ... Union, ... our vic - to - ries, ... re - gale!

Diabolical wrote:

The United Unionists Union Coalition

We, the united unionists at the United Unionists Union -- in a unified spirit of unity -- would like to welcome any and all in unity who would unite with our unified union. As our united unionists often unitedly like to harmonize in our united hills -- in unison -- "Union Union Union!"

Our Unified Anthem:

We're unionists, yes unionists, so unified and free.

With union ties we unionize our unifying glee.

For Union Union Union, we pledge ourselves to thee.

We're unified, with union ties, in union we agree.

As unionists, we must persist, our union proudly tell:

In union skies, united flies, our union boys do well.

For Union Union Union, our union soldiers yell:

We're unified, with union ties, in union we will gel.

You get the gist, we're unionists, no sooner will this end.

Our union ties, not bound in lies, so say we once again:

Please join our noble Union, we'll let more of you in.

We're unified, with union ties, you must join our union.

Our union lives, though turmoil gives a blockade in our path.

We will not die, our union thrives, our foes will feel our wrath.

In Union Union Union, our lookouts stand on plinths.

We'll strategize, though others try, to take away our faith.

In union gird, our loins with word of victory once more.

For where resides, our union lies, our homelands are secure.

With Union Union Union, we'll shout and tell the tale,

Thus we deny their nasty lies, our victories, regale.

In Union Union Union, our victories, regale.

In Union Union Union, our victories, regale.

In Union ... Union ... Union, ... our vic - to - ries, ... re - gale!

UUU.

Quasi-duck wrote:

Say the acronym, sound like you don't know what you are saying.

UUU.

Whether pronounced as "you you you" or just one long "ooh", I think it makes the point, nicely. But have you tried to purse your lips and just say "union" three times in a row really fast? Try it right now...and don't stop at three times.

~