This is the Open Bar Chatroom
Here you can discuss all that you want, about who you want and this thread will not be moderated strictly so that all the users here can have their own space.
@whowh @Karl von Krass @GrandEmpire @RBoi200 @Comrade genz I invite you to engage with eachother here
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Finland for the sons.
Order in the Court!
After a fair and open trial, @Masked Phantom has been sentenced to two decades in a gulag. His women folk and possessions are seized by the People's Council. His sons will be conscripted and sent to Finland. A repetition of his offence will result in 10 years as a Finnish conscript, and a further repetition will result in 3 decades in Vladivostok.
Sentence is to be Carried out Immediately.
GLORY TO THE UNION!
GUARDS! DO YOUR DUTY!
GLORY TO THE UNION!
Why no reliy?
Not my sons or daughters.TheZhukov wrote:
Finland for the sons.Order in the Court!
After a fair and open trial, @Masked Phantom has been sentenced to two decades in a gulag. His women folk and possessions are seized by the People's Council. His sons will be conscripted and sent to Finland. A repetition of his offence will result in 10 years as a Finnish conscript, and a further repetition will result in 3 decades in Vladivostok.
Sentence is to be Carried out Immediately.
GLORY TO THE UNION!
GUARDS! DO YOUR DUTY!
Take me instead and triple the time, but leave my sons and daughters alone.
God wants you to reach your full potential. He loves you. He cares for you. No matter how dark life may seem, he’s there. He guides you. He doesn’t force you, he gives you hope, hope to see.
I don’t know what god’s stance on Poles like you is, though.russ_russ1 wrote:
God wants you to reach your full potential. He loves you. He cares for you. No matter how dark life may seem, he’s there. He guides you. He doesn’t force you, he gives you hope, hope to see.
Why In the fuck do I have to keep feeling so horrible. I feel like I’m letting people down and I don’t know how or why, it’s a fucking annoying state that this has on my brain and it keeps coming back over and over again
Like I mean sure, all is fine, but I feel like if I were to disappear, would anyone care to notice? I feel really shitty on a test I did on Wednesday, and I don’t really know what to explain to my parents on it if I got a bad mark on it. Do I say: “oh, yeah, everyone else did bad, it was hard” or: “I can’t take the pressure of life anymore and I’m trying my best but I just fucking can’t”
I can’t explain why I feel this way, if I go to my parents and say what’s happening they’ll worry and take me to a therapist and I don’t think I need one. It’s just that I feel like this is a phase but it keeps coming back. Over and over again and I feel more shitty. I’m sorry if what I’m saying here is against bytro guidelines, I just really need some help from someone to explain this, I wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone.
If I were to just not show up to school tomorrow, I don’t think anyone would care, no one has told me ever in my whole 17 years of living on how I feel, or “hey Matvei, you look good today” NEVER ONCE IN MY LIVE HAVE I EVER RECIEVED A UNCONDITIONAL COMPLIMENT FROM ANYONE, I just wanna be loved. It’s not hard to ask. If anyone at school tomorrow would tell me something like “Matvei your a nice guy” or “Matvei you matter” would literally help a ton. But I know that’s never gonna happen because that’s never been said to me before.
I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling that way. And, in a way, I'm glad you trust us forum guys enough to tell us all that. Ultimately though, we are just a bunch of Gamers from various places in the world and we aren't professionals - that's who you should talk to.russ_russ1 wrote:
If I were to just not show up to school tomorrow, I don’t think anyone would care, no one has told me ever in my whole 17 years of living on how I feel, or “hey Matvei, you look good today” NEVER ONCE IN MY LIVE HAVE I EVER RECIEVED A UNCONDITIONAL COMPLIMENT FROM ANYONE, I just wanna be loved. It’s not hard to ask. If anyone at school tomorrow would tell me something like “Matvei your a nice guy” or “Matvei you matter” would literally help a ton. But I know that’s never gonna happen because that’s never been said to me before.
With all that said, I think you should talk to your parents as it does sound like a therapy issue to me.
Try and go with whichever one is more likely to understand the issue. For me, I will go to my dad if I'm worried about my studies, for example, whereas I will go to my mum for other things, because they have different personalities and are more likely to be understanding of certain issues than others.
I hope this helps, and you start to feel better 
I also wouldn't worry about people not paying you compliments.
A) People probably are paying you compliments, you probably just don't remember them (the same goes for me)
B) When I'm meeting up with my friends, my first thought isn't to pay compliments, it's to get on with whatever we're doing. I know it seems like people don't like you because of this, but trust me it's normal
I feel like I have clinical depression. I have symptoms. But, it goes away, then it comes back. This just sucks.
I feel like whenever I speak I’m annoying. I feel like whenever I do something people criticize me, I’m super self conscious, I have extreme body dysmorphia. Ever since I lost 50lbs…I feel like that it’s not enough. I’m always covering my chest with sweaters, I’m always checking my chest. I have ADHD, and well shit, I feel fake. I feel like I don’t have an actual personality. I feel like it’s just morphed between different friends. I feel like a Lego piece. It just keeps adding up. But I can’t let anyone irl know. No one has checked up on me. Well, I mean, I don’t know. It’s challenging. I’m scared.
well thanks. Thats something. It’s one thing to say that online, it’s another to say it in person. It’s just that, if I tell me parents how I’m feeling they’ll get scared, they think I’m a really good kid. They’ve never had this type of problem before. And I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life. If I tell them, I can’t let them get scared. My brain, it’s screwed I know. I’ve witnessed things that will scar people. I try to be nice to people, but I’ve been told I’m an asshole, people have told me to (kms) people have said disgusting things. I was quite fat in grade 9/10 that u was called fat so much I starved myself and didn’t want to eat. That’s fixed now. I’m on a diet. But that body dysmorphia though. It’s horrible, I can’t never feel like myself in my body. I just want someone I can lay in bed with and cuddle with, I just want someone I can talk to for my feelings and kiss them, in a wholesome way. As a male, I don’t have a lot of choices for my mental health. It’s ethier I suck it up, or I cry. And cryings bad, so what choice do I have. I have a lot of problems. But I’m a nice guy right? I’m mellow, I’m relaxed. I try to express emotions, I’m just never cried infront of my friends ever, and well…I feel like I’m a complicated mess. I’m sorry for making you feel worried man.Talvisota wrote:
I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling that way. And, in a way, I'm glad you trust us forum guys enough to tell us all that. Ultimately though, we are just a bunch of Gamers from various places in the world and we aren't professionals - that's who you should talk to.With all that said, I think you should talk to your parents as it does sound like a therapy issue to me.russ_russ1 wrote:
If I were to just not show up to school tomorrow, I don’t think anyone would care, no one has told me ever in my whole 17 years of living on how I feel, or “hey Matvei, you look good today” NEVER ONCE IN MY LIVE HAVE I EVER RECIEVED A UNCONDITIONAL COMPLIMENT FROM ANYONE, I just wanna be loved. It’s not hard to ask. If anyone at school tomorrow would tell me something like “Matvei your a nice guy” or “Matvei you matter” would literally help a ton. But I know that’s never gonna happen because that’s never been said to me before.Try and go with whichever one is more likely to understand the issue. For me, I will go to my dad if I'm worried about my studies, for example, whereas I will go to my mum for other things, because they have different personalities and are more likely to be understanding of certain issues than others.
I hope this helps, and you start to feel better
This nearly broke my heart, and I'm a tough guy. Well, I recommend you change your mindset. I know this may sound harsh, but part of your problem imo is believing you are unimportant and that you are depressive. It is basically this. Go to bed early (9 - 10 PM), wake up at 6 AM, take a cold shower, and don't sit in front of a computer. Do 10 push ups or as many as you can if you can't do them easily. Push yourself. Then just walk into school with a 'I am the best' mindset without being arrogant, if you get what I mean. Don't obsess over your grade, if you are in an English school there are many free online videos to help with study. I think some sort of ego is necessary to help with life. Of course, I'm not a professional, so take this with a grain of salt. Depression is a state of mind. This is not easy, but you must snap out of it. Get up and say. I AM MATVEI. I went through the same phase at 16. My grades crashed, I was 20kg overweight and had no self respect. I just woke up one day and said "**** this, I'm changing" it wasn't easy, but I did it. and you can too. This is probably is the longest message I have ever written on these forums, but it is definitely worth it. AND always remember, you matter mate, you matter. The people around you don't appreciate you, but you have potential you must unlock. Channel into your inner self and crack the cycle of depression. Also, take some responsibility for your situation, it is never not your fault, and you can always get better. You may not have a very outgoing personality or be the 'popular guy' right now, but once you take control of your potential you will be noticed. It's heartbreaking you have to talk to basically strangers about this instead of friends or family, but sometimes that's life.russ_russ1 wrote:
If I were to just not show up to school tomorrow, I don’t think anyone would care, no one has told me ever in my whole 17 years of living on how I feel, or “hey Matvei, you look good today” NEVER ONCE IN MY LIVE HAVE I EVER RECIEVED A UNCONDITIONAL COMPLIMENT FROM ANYONE, I just wanna be loved. It’s not hard to ask. If anyone at school tomorrow would tell me something like “Matvei your a nice guy” or “Matvei you matter” would literally help a ton. But I know that’s never gonna happen because that’s never been said to me before.
We are Claudio
That is a real problem, but you see, we men have to be tough. I was brought up in an Arab family, and crying for anything short of a death or physical injury immediately received DON'T BE A GIRL. I toughened up, but it made me slightly hard hearted on the outside, I can see a lot of violence and not show shock etc. It doesn't mean i don't have emotion, I just don't show it. We men are problem fixers, but we need to talk to ourselves or to someone we trust. You are a great guy Matvei, I know it isn't the same as if we were face to face, but I'm serious, I like your personality, you're my style of fella. As for not knowing what to do with your life, find out what you enjoy, if you enjoy working with computers, then maybe coding or game development etc? And don't feel bad better talk about it then become a broken down wreck later. As for your body dysmorphia, start working out, it will be hard, then you will power through. As you build muscle you will become proud of yourself. And just ignore the guy who calls you an asshole, he probably is the one. And just word it how you talk to your parents, like instead of saying, I'm scared, I don't know what to do, etc, say something like, Can you help me decide what to become, or can you help me with this or that etc. Here it will be a relaxed comfortable way of talking, and your parents love you but can't read your mind. Your brain is not screwed, you just don't know how to deal with certain problems. But you must start the job, take the first step. It is you who must take action and get the ball rolling .I will be happy to help you if you ever need it to the best of my ability.russ_russ1 wrote:
well thanks. Thats something. It’s one thing to say that online, it’s another to say it in person. It’s just that, if I tell me parents how I’m feeling they’ll get scared, they think I’m a really good kid. They’ve never had this type of problem before. And I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life. If I tell them, I can’t let them get scared. My brain, it’s screwed I know. I’ve witnessed things that will scar people. I try to be nice to people, but I’ve been told I’m an asshole, people have told me to (kms) people have said disgusting things. I was quite fat in grade 9/10 that u was called fat so much I starved myself and didn’t want to eat. That’s fixed now. I’m on a diet. But that body dysmorphia though. It’s horrible, I can’t never feel like myself in my body. I just want someone I can lay in bed with and cuddle with, I just want someone I can talk to for my feelings and kiss them, in a wholesome way. As a male, I don’t have a lot of choices for my mental health. It’s ethier I suck it up, or I cry. And cryings bad, so what choice do I have. I have a lot of problems. But I’m a nice guy right? I’m mellow, I’m relaxed. I try to express emotions, I’m just never cried infront of my friends ever, and well…I feel like I’m a complicated mess. I’m sorry for making you feel worried man.Talvisota wrote:
I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling that way. And, in a way, I'm glad you trust us forum guys enough to tell us all that. Ultimately though, we are just a bunch of Gamers from various places in the world and we aren't professionals - that's who you should talk to.With all that said, I think you should talk to your parents as it does sound like a therapy issue to me.Try and go with whichever one is more likely to understand the issue. For me, I will go to my dad if I'm worried about my studies, for example, whereas I will go to my mum for other things, because they have different personalities and are more likely to be understanding of certain issues than others.russ_russ1 wrote:
If I were to just not show up to school tomorrow, I don’t think anyone would care, no one has told me ever in my whole 17 years of living on how I feel, or “hey Matvei, you look good today” NEVER ONCE IN MY LIVE HAVE I EVER RECIEVED A UNCONDITIONAL COMPLIMENT FROM ANYONE, I just wanna be loved. It’s not hard to ask. If anyone at school tomorrow would tell me something like “Matvei your a nice guy” or “Matvei you matter” would literally help a ton. But I know that’s never gonna happen because that’s never been said to me before.I hope this helps, and you start to feel better
Never be afraid to tell the truth, if you did bad, just say, studies are a bit complicated, i'm doing my best. Wording your speech is very important, saying: I'm fucked up, I can't take it, fuck everything, wrong approach, causes panic. Excuse the profanity. Say, studies are stressing me out, i need to reorganize and take a rest so i don't get overwhelmed. as for cuddling etc I don't really have an answer, I'm sorry, but as for talking to someone maybe to your parents, if you word it right to avoid anxiousness but ask for help calmly.russ_russ1 wrote:
Like I mean sure, all is fine, but I feel like if I were to disappear, would anyone care to notice? I feel really shitty on a test I did on Wednesday, and I don’t really know what to explain to my parents on it if I got a bad mark on it. Do I say: “oh, yeah, everyone else did bad, it was hard” or: “I can’t take the pressure of life anymore and I’m trying my best but I just fucking can’t”
Also you shouldn't care what others think all the time, if i did I would be selling drugs in an alley in downtown new york. I understand you feel just like another thing floating around aimlessly with no purpose or importance but that thing is under your control. Grab it, slap it into line and reorganize calmly. take your problems one by one. Figure out a plan and ignore early failure, bad grades etc until you reorganize. you are a great guy and I know you can do it.
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