The Open Bar Chatroom

We spoke about this Russian. You gotta open up to the people you can trust more, man. They can understand your problems better than anyone else. It may suck in the short term but it pays off.

russ_russ1 wrote:

Talvisota wrote:

russ_russ1 wrote:

If I were to just not show up to school tomorrow, I don’t think anyone would care, no one has told me ever in my whole 17 years of living on how I feel, or “hey Matvei, you look good today” NEVER ONCE IN MY LIVE HAVE I EVER RECIEVED A UNCONDITIONAL COMPLIMENT FROM ANYONE, I just wanna be loved. It’s not hard to ask. If anyone at school tomorrow would tell me something like “Matvei your a nice guy” or “Matvei you matter” would literally help a ton. But I know that’s never gonna happen because that’s never been said to me before.

I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling that way. And, in a way, I'm glad you trust us forum guys enough to tell us all that. Ultimately though, we are just a bunch of Gamers from various places in the world and we aren't professionals - that's who you should talk to.With all that said, I think you should talk to your parents as it does sound like a therapy issue to me.Try and go with whichever one is more likely to understand the issue. For me, I will go to my dad if I'm worried about my studies, for example, whereas I will go to my mum for other things, because they have different personalities and are more likely to be understanding of certain issues than others.

I hope this helps, and you start to feel better

well thanks. Thats something. It’s one thing to say that online, it’s another to say it in person. It’s just that, if I tell me parents how I’m feeling they’ll get scared, they think I’m a really good kid. They’ve never had this type of problem before. And I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life. If I tell them, I can’t let them get scared. My brain, it’s screwed I know. I’ve witnessed things that will scar people. I try to be nice to people, but I’ve been told I’m an asshole, people have told me to (kms) people have said disgusting things. I was quite fat in grade 9/10 that u was called fat so much I starved myself and didn’t want to eat. That’s fixed now. I’m on a diet. But that body dysmorphia though. It’s horrible, I can’t never feel like myself in my body. I just want someone I can lay in bed with and cuddle with, I just want someone I can talk to for my feelings and kiss them, in a wholesome way. As a male, I don’t have a lot of choices for my mental health. It’s ethier I suck it up, or I cry. And cryings bad, so what choice do I have. I have a lot of problems. But I’m a nice guy right? I’m mellow, I’m relaxed. I try to express emotions, I’m just never cried infront of my friends ever, and well…I feel like I’m a complicated mess. I’m sorry for making you feel worried man.

russ_russ1 wrote:

I feel like whenever I speak I’m annoying. I feel like whenever I do something people criticize me, I’m super self conscious, I have extreme body dysmorphia. Ever since I lost 50lbs…I feel like that it’s not enough. I’m always covering my chest with sweaters, I’m always checking my chest. I have ADHD, and well shit, I feel fake. I feel like I don’t have an actual personality. I feel like it’s just morphed between different friends. I feel like a Lego piece. It just keeps adding up. But I can’t let anyone irl know. No one has checked up on me. Well, I mean, I don’t know. It’s challenging. I’m scared.

It wasn't easy when I got that part of my life to the point I cried, a lot.

A lot, until my head, my eyes, my mind, my body, and my life become disoriented for some time.

I might not be a man, but they would scold me if I cried, so I bottled them up and matured earlier than my real friends, to the point that my skeptical and paranoia played quite a part in me because I couldn't trust people to let them inside so easily.

This is not something that we can keep forever.

The feeling of being judged by others can be overwhelming.

By I mean overwhelming, it has shaped a chain that weighs you down.

All people are judgemental, a lot of them are.

So what? It's their nature and I can't blame them for that.

Let them judge whatever they want.

Not all of those judgments are there to be listened to by you.

Sometimes they're just a bunch of people who are jealous of you that you did better than them.

Not all personalities are original.

I want to hear if any of my personalities are original. The answer is no.

I follow people and learn from them, including their personalities.

Personalities are complicated and shaped by different various sources.

You are by far one of the funniest guys here and I haven't seen anyone could do that or I'm able to copy yours.

If you feel like your ADHD is interfering with your work, you might want to seek advice from a professional if you prefer that way or find a solution from the internet.

I am unsure if I have one, but I do have quite not easy time dealing with focusing and therefore I have to prepare better for that.

I'm also sorry that I wasn't able to talk to you more.

I wish I could check up on you like a real-life friend, but here we are.

Take your time before opening up.

No need to rush many things at once, that way...you're able to handle these issues much better,

I'm here if you need someone to talk to.

I might not be the best friend who can comfort you well, but I'll try to help you if you need something.

Cool

I am not on a discount

Komrade Khrushchev wrote:

I am not on a discount

am of the sami

Komrade Khrushchev wrote:

I am not on a discount

Claudio NVKP wrote:

Komrade Khrushchev wrote:

I am not on a discount

cry

Talvisota wrote:

Carking the 6th wrote:

Greetings

And salutations

russ_russ1 wrote:

If I were to just not show up to school tomorrow, I don’t think anyone would care, no one has told me ever in my whole 17 years of living on how I feel, or “hey Matvei, you look good today” NEVER ONCE IN MY LIVE HAVE I EVER RECIEVED A UNCONDITIONAL COMPLIMENT FROM ANYONE, I just wanna be loved. It’s not hard to ask. If anyone at school tomorrow would tell me something like “Matvei your a nice guy” or “Matvei you matter” would literally help a ton. But I know that’s never gonna happen because that’s never been said to me before.

Hi donk

I agree with Donk. I'm always here Russ

you just sound like an average teenager McCool.

most likely there is someone in your life feeling the same way and is waiting for the same thing, how about you reach out and be the one to start the cycle then it will come back to you one day

I was not expecting this much gratitudity from everyone here, I very much appreciate the supportive nature that you guys bring out into the world. Thanks.

-Matvei Sukov

Don’t let this distract you from the fact he is a Russian femboy*

I’ll literally do anything for you to not call me femboy!

Money give

I’m not money

russ_russ1 wrote:

I’m not money